


You Promised

by JTxBojan



Category: One Direction, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-21
Updated: 2012-10-21
Packaged: 2017-11-16 18:46:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/542672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JTxBojan/pseuds/JTxBojan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He hated doing this to Harry. And he hated doing it to himself. But in the end, Harry was the one who suffered the most from it because Louis was the one having to pretend to be in love with a girl he saw as nothing more than a friend. He was the one having to pretend like his friendship with Harry was nothing more than that when really, that couldn’t be further from the truth. He was the one hurting Harry on a daily basis without even wanting to. And it was becoming unbearable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Promised

**Author's Note:**

> This took me 30 minutes to write and it was inspired by this post.: http://braveryoverbullshit.tumblr.com/post/32057597259/whenallelsefailsniallislove-perfectthazza
> 
> Re-posted from my Tumblr.

"Harry." 

Louis’ voice was soft, gentle, tentative as Harry kept his gazed fixed firmly on the darkness lingering outside of the hotel window. 

“Bullshit? Is that what this is to you, Louis? Is that what I am to you?” Harry asked, his voice cold and without emotion, hiding every single little hint of hurt that was burning within him. 

Louis let out a sigh at that and stood up from where he had been seated on the double bed, crossing the room until he was standing right behind Harry. He reached out, placing his hands on Harry’s waist, but the younger man shrugged out of his touch. 

“Don’t.” He said, still refusing to allow his emotions to show whatsoever in his voice as he spoke. Louis didn’t listen, however, _he rarely did, really_ , and wound his arms around Harry’s waist from behind anyway. 

Harry tensed up in his arms, willing himself to stay strong, to fight his feelings and not let himself succumb to them like he always did. He’d been hurting enough. But then Louis’ lips were on the back of his neck, his breath ghosting over Harry’s sensitive skin as soft, loving words were whispered against it and, _goddammit_ , Harry couldn’t fight it anymore. 

“Of course not.” Louis whispered as Harry closed his eyes and relaxed slightly back against him. “Of course not, Harry. You’re everything to me. Everything. You know I didn’t mean it.” He continued, pressing gentle kisses to Harry’s skin between his words. 

Feeling himself once again being resigned to let his feelings take control, Harry’s eyes began to water behind his closed eyelids and he took a deep breath, attempting to regain at least some of his composure. 

He wasn’t going to cry. Not now. Not again.

“But what is this, Louis? We continue to hide from the world, we continue to pretend like this, us, doesn’t mean anything when it does. And I don’t know how much longer I can do it. I really don’t. It’s killing me, Louis. Every single second that passes by where we have to continue living like this, I die a little more on the inside. And to tell you the truth, I don’t think I have that much left that can die now.” Harry’s voice was quiet, barely above a whisper, and Louis felt the well-known guilt sting in the pit of his stomach once again.

He hated doing this to Harry. And he hated doing it to himself. But in the end, Harry was the one who suffered the most from it because Louis was the one having to pretend to be in love with a girl he saw as nothing more than a friend. He was the one having to pretend like his friendship with Harry was nothing more than that when really, that couldn’t be further from the truth. _He_ was the one hurting Harry on a daily basis without even wanting to. And it was becoming unbearable.

“We’ll tell them.” Louis whispered then, his eyes closing as he kept pressing kisses to the back of Harry’s neck. “Tomorrow, at the end of the show, we’ll tell everyone.” 

Harry’s eyes opened at that, and he found himself turning slowly in Louis’ arms, watching as Louis opened his eyes to meet Harry’s. Harry’s gaze was searching, questioning, looking for any sign that this was a lie. Another futile attempt to reassure Harry that everything was going to be okay. But Harry found nothing. All he found was the genuine love and admiration Louis felt for him, and Harry couldn’t help the way his heart skipped a beat in his chest.

“Promise?” He asked carefully, as if speaking too loudly would make Louis take back what he had just said. But Louis merely smiled at him and raised a hand to place it on Harry’s cheek.

“Promise. At the end, when my eyes meet yours, we’ll tell them.” Louis said. “I promise.”

And in that moment, Harry let himself believe that he meant it.

\----------------

The song finished as the audience erupted into loud cheering and clapping, the familiar screaming of their fans filling their ears. But Harry couldn’t bring himself to focus on that. He couldn’t bring himself to fully register the joyous sounds filling his ears.

No, this was it. This was the moment he had been waiting for. This was the moment he and Louis would finally stop hiding and tell the world about them. All he had to do was to turn his head slightly to the right and meet Louis’ gaze. Then it would happen. 

So Harry did. He turned his head to the right, excepting to see Louis’ beautiful blue eyes gazing back at him with that look that would assure Harry that it was all going to be all right. But what met his eyes was the sight of Louis staring straight ahead, his gaze fixated on the crowd and Harry could see in that moment that Louis had absolutely no intention of meeting his gaze. And that’s when he knew that Louis’ promise last night had been just as empty as all the others he had ever made him.

Then Harry’s shoulders slumped down slightly in resignation and he looked away, and in that moment he realised that it was the end. In that moment, he realised that it would always be like this. Louis and he would always be a lie, some kind of dirty little secret that would forever be hidden away from the world, and in that moment, what little that had been left of his heart shattered in his chest. And in that moment, Harry decided that he had been hurting long enough.

\---------------

It had been 45 minutes before Louis had finally managed to retreat back to the hotel, having been held back after the show by interviewers asking too many questions and fans asking for too many autographs and pictures. Somehow, Harry had managed to slip away right after the show and Louis was eager, desperate really, to go back to their hotel so he could find him. Liam, Zayn and Niall had been able to leave 10 minutes before him, and Louis was surprised when he found all three of them slumped against the wall in the hallway where they had their rooms. They all had strange looks on their faces, looks Louis had never seen before and never wished to see again. They all looked broken, devastated; like their world had just come crashing down around them.

Louis’ heart was pounding in his chest when he approached them and when he opened his mouth to speak, none of them lifted their heads to meet his gaze.

“What’s wrong?” Louis asked, looking from Liam to Zayn to Niall and then back to Liam again. All three of them stayed quiet for a long moment, and Louis felt himself begin to panic.

“What’s wrong?!” He asked again, his voice slightly raised now, and it was Liam who finally lifted his gaze from the floor to look at him. 

“He’s gone.” Liam said, his voice empty and it sent a uncomfortable chill down Louis’ spine. He didn’t even have the time to question what Liam meant before Liam spoke again. “Harry’s gone, Lou.” 

Louis had the door to his and Harry’s hotel room opened in the matter of seconds and he darted into the bathroom, to his horror finding that everything Harry had put around the sink there was gone. Running out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, it took Louis half a second to register that Harry’s suitcase, along with all of his belongings, were gone and all that remained was Louis’ things. 

Then he spotted a note laying on one of the pillows on the double bed and he had reached the bed and picked the note up before his racing heart had managed to beat twice in his chest. He recognised Harry’s handwriting immediately as he read the note. 

Two words. Two very simple words written down on a small white piece of paper that made Louis’ heart burst into a billion tiny pieces in his chest as his entire world felt like it came crashing down on him. Two words. That was all that was written on the note. Two shattering words that represented all the pain Harry had felt over the last few years. Two words that made Louis feel sick to his stomach because they meant that Harry had finally had enough. Two words that meant that this was it. This was the end. Harry was gone and Louis knew that this time, he wasn’t coming back. He was gone for good, and it was all Louis’ fault. And two words was all it took for Louis to know. Two words. Two simple words:

“ _You promised._ ” 

Two words, and Louis’ world fell apart. And there was nobody to blame but himself.


End file.
